On the first wintry day of the season frost crisps the landscape. My breath billows in clouds of white. The sun is honey, oozing through the heart of the cherry tree and turning the last of the leaves to gold. It is a moment of between, when the earth makes me pause. The chill shivers the leaves from the trees. I can hear them falling. They crackle like flames as they detach and float to the ground. The fire is a cold one, but I feel as though I’m standing in its heart: the crackling is everywhere, the air is gold and a blackbird trills. It is a precious, dreamlike morning. There won’t be another one like it this season.
I sometimes dream of searching for places that don’t exist. I dream that behind the field at my aunt’s is a path that leads to a group of small ponds I’m desperate to get to. On the way, a seahenge has been revealed on the shore, covered in light snow. I never find the ponds. I’ve searched for them before without success. I can picture myself bathing there, yet I only remember their existence in dreams. When I wake I struggle to recall whether they are real or not and I grieve for their loss.
The leaves are moist and turning to mulch now. They no longer glint with gold but have browned and darkened. They are fodder for the dreams of worms and woodlice. But the remains of gold still cling to the trees, like sheets of gilding. Willows dip long tresses of yellowed leaves into a pond crowded with birds. A man is feeding the ducks. Black headed gulls screech and dive. Moorhens peck the shore. Three swans sail among them like a vision: a pair and their cygnet. The cygnet is bigger than its parents, snowy feathers offset by soft beige. I walk past yellowing reeds and bright berries, the last of the season’s lights. I look up at the moment two swans soar over, softly whooping as they fly.
I have been recording my dreams again. It is one way of confronting the darkness and what lies within it. Some are slippery, some never ending. Creatures flit through them: barn owl and crow, polar bears and bison, and a strange hybrid of mole and teddy bear that clutches my fingers with tiny pink hands. In dreams I am myself and not myself. Sometimes I begin as me but become someone else. My dreams are mostly prosaic: processing real events and populated with people I know. But among the ordinary are those moments when I wonder if I really have visited another place and brought a little of its enchantment back with me.
Blogger book of the month: Pamela S. Wight – Molly Finds her Purr
Pam’s blog RoughWighting is full of funny, intriguing and quirky stories both fictional and true. She has a fellow Piscean’s knack for visiting other worlds and bringing back a little of their magic. Pam has written two exciting and enjoyable romantic thrillers for adults and another children’s picture book, Birds of Paradise but today it is Molly’s turn to step into the limelight. In Pam’s newest book, Molly Finds Her Purr, Molly is a stray cat who doesn’t know how to purr. Birds run away from her, dogs bark and squirrels bombard her with acorns. She tries her best to find a playmate, but it seems she’s destined to be lonely – it’s no wonder Molly doesn’t know how to purr! But then a squirrel called Petey takes a chance on friendship and Molly soon has a whole circle of friends around her. It isn’t long before she finds her purr. A heart-warming, comforting and gentle book, with beautiful illustrations, Molly introduces themes of difference and friendship in a lovely way for young readers. A great Christmas gift for a child in your life! You can find Pam here and her books are available at Amazon.
Hi, Andrea, that’s a great piece of writing. But might I read it again in the summer when I’m not feeling so cold?
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Haha, get that fire on and get yourself warmed up Crispina!
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Yea, wrapped in a fleece.
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GREAT POST AND PHOTOGRAPHS ANDREA, I LOVE THE THEME, CHINA
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Thank you China.
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I love the gentle melancholy of this posting. Winston is looking quite dashing with his lead. You do weave your dreams thought the narrative in a beguiling manner. It’s interesting how we humans are drawn to transitions of the natural worlds: dawn/dusk, merging of the seasons. We seem to have Tre trouble with life transitions. I love the premise and the delicate drawings of Molly Finds Her Purr.
Happy Holidays, pat
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Thanks Pat, yes he goes well with the autumn leaves! Too true, if only we could appreciate life’s changes like the change of the season.
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Guess it’s harder when it is us who are changing–getting older or switching jobs or retiring are all stressful. Even getting married or having a child is stressful.
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Too true.
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Lovely post, Andrea. Is it just me or does Winston have the kind of face you just want to squeeze…he is adorable! Great to see Pam’s book mentioned. I have it on display on our coffee table, so I can revisit Molly periodically.
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Thanks Jill, yes he’s definitely squeezable, unless he’s using those gorgeous eyes to guilt you into giving him a treat or taking him for another walk!
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If I lived closer, I’d offer to dog sit…I’m smitten!
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Thank you for the introduction to Pamela. Thank you for the insight into your dreams. And thank you for your superb writing. You are pure pleasure.
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Thank you Bill!
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Nice review of Pam’s books. I love her writing as I do yours. I love how you bring presence and magic to the ordinary strolls around your neighborhood. It sounds like you have an active dream life too!
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Thanks Brad, yes, sometimes too active – sometimes I could do with a rest from dreaming 🙂
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Oops. 🙂
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Oooh, how wonderful to visit another place in your dreams and bring back some of its enchantment.
Do you do that when you are writing? Do you write to visit another place?
I certainly paint to be in colourworld.
Lovely!
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My writing very often starts with a place – sometimes a place I know but often one plucked from thin air – or perhaps from a dream…the places are usually fully formed in my imagination.
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Nice post Andrea and beautiful photos 🙂
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Thanks Irene.
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Beautiful writing, Andrea! Dreams do take one to strange places, don’t they? Some seem far beyond the normal processing of the day’s events, and I wonder where I have been.
Thank you to the introduction to Pam Wight. “Molly Finds Her Purr” sounds like a lovely book.
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Thanks Lavinia, Molly is an adorable ‘feline correspondent’!
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Andrea, your post is wonderful. The first part rings like a poem although
you haven’t used any obvious form of such. So dreamy as beautiful you
describe nature around you, down to the last leaf and its sound.
Your dreams are quite magic, maybe you have been to the these ponds or
they will reveal something else. I feel like being in the dream.
Pamela’s children’s book sounds so enticing and I wish it and Pamela happiness.
Miriam
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Thank you Miriam, I can’t write poetry but maybe I write it in prose! I hope that I do get to visit some of these dream places, if I haven’t already 🙂
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This is my favorite time in autumn–not quite winter here yet, but the leaves turning into fodder–thank you for letting me walk with you this morning
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Thank you Audrey.
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Lovely, dreamy prose.
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Thanks Lori.
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May you savor your enchantment!
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I will Jo, thank you.
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Winston is looking dapper amongst the autumn leaves, he naturally wears tweed. 🙂
Lovely prose, Andrea, I always feel like I am right there strolling along beside you.
Isn’t it interesting that our dreams offer so much fodder for wonderment? I often dream I am on holiday, a bit lost, but exploring, trying to find my way back to my people and abode. I sometimes wonder what they mean, probably figments of past memories wound together.
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Yes, he has good camouflage! It is amazing where we sometimes end up in our dreams!
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We are certainly fellow Pisceans, dreaming into new worlds and “other worlds,” and even better, seeing gold glint and snow sparkle in the worlds we live in, in the here and now. Here, in my Boston world, the snow has been flying (and landing) for almost 24 hours, and more to come. As I look out my window I see a winter wonderland, and I imagine elves playing and prancing in the snowy piles of left-over leaves. And oh my gosh, there’s Winston, jumping through the snow piles with the elves. The snow comes above Winston’s nose, so he has to jump high!
I love your imagination and your dreamy poetic prose, Andrea. And I love that you featured Molly and her Purr here on your blog. I’m immensely honored.
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I’m envious of your winter wonderland Pam, I hope we get one too! And you’re very welcome!
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Beautiful descriptions, as always! I love the idea of recording dreams, something I have done off and on for many years. That journey of exploring dreams can open up to so many interesting speculations and memories.
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Thanks Carla, yes it’s fascinating what goes on inside our sleeping heads…
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Beautiful writing. You carry me along and I want to walk with you and observe nature. Love how your dreams are interwoven into the theme.
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Thank you Paula.
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Beautiful prose, Andrea; rather melancholy and dreamlike. I hardly ever remember my dreams; they usually evaporate as I wake.
Thank you for the review of Pam’s lovely book – I wish her success with it.
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Thanks Clare, they’re very hard to hold onto!
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Indeed they are!
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I love your descriptive prose.
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Thank you Derin.
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Once again, thanks for transcending me to the liminal, dreamlike existence.
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You’re welcome Uma, thank you.
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What a lovely, excellent post Andrea. Goodness. I felt every single word. The dreams and the daydreams are incredible.
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Thanks so much Tara.
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I enjoyed this beautiful and evocative piece. So much to slow down and savor in it.
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Thank you Liz.
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Beautiful descriptions of nature transitioning from fall to winter. Your musings on dreams are fascinating – like dreams seem real and unreal at the same time. Lately many my dreams are about a small number of people I do not know. I never remember what we were doing but it was collegial. When I have a bad dream I wake up under a cloud.
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Thanks Ina, so strange what our minds invent or remember!
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Seeing the beauty in the little details, your poetry always inspires. Thank you again Andrea. Such a view of life helps us to learn again how to ‘purr’ like Molly, even in troubled times.
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Thank you Richard.
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Gorgeous prose to go with your fantastic photos, Andrea. I felt I was walking along with you.
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Thanks Dale.
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You seem to be a deep and complex dreamer Andrea. I’d be interested to see how you get on analyzing them. I very rarely remember mine, and certainly not in the detail you recall yours.
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And yet there are so many more that are lost 🙂
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Very interesting post, Andrea. My husband recalls his dreams in detail, and I envy that talent when I have good dreams. Bad ones, not so much. Congrats to Pamela. It sounds like a lovely book indeed.
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Yes it’s not so good when you get stuck in a bad dream! Did you get my ‘twigs’ email Cynthia, just wondering if I sent it to the right email.
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I replied! Unless I did it in my mind again. But I did. Let me try to find it. Thanks so very much, Andrea!
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Andrea, I love hearing about your dreams. Wonderful post and your descriptions are always so lovely. Animal dreams are the best. I dream prolifically and often, and have kept a dream journal for close to 25 years. I used to have a recurring dream for years about travelling to a place that I wanted so desperately to be at in my dream. When I would awake, I could never place where it was, although in my dream I knew it intimately. I worked with it a lot and finally discovered what the meaning was. I wrote about it. Dreams fascinate me.
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Thanks Cheryl, that sounds very like some of those dreams I have sometimes about places. I do love animal dreams, most of the time – I always think they must have a deeper meaning.
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Andrea, there is no one like you who can reach into the heart of nature, the seasons, making them your own, weaving your emotions into every leaf, bird trill. Glorious writing. As for your dreams … I’m in awe you can record them. I tried once and it ‘freaked’ me out and stopped me sleeping altogether!
Ahh … how lovely to see Pam’s dearest book reviewed here. You capture its spirit beautifully and I love the premise of the story and its gentle teachings. 😀
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Thanks so much Annika! I’m now very intrigued about the kind of dreams you had that they freaked you out so much 🙂
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Wonderful roam through autumn and your dreams. I so relate to grieving what felt so real. Your dreams sound very vivid, the sign of a very creative mind which is our good fortune to read.
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Thanks Janni.
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Reblogged this on dipdoomagazoo and commented:
I love reading this blog and that’s why I’m sharing it with you….
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Thanks for re-blogging Elaine, I appreciate your support!
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Fascinating, remembering places that may or may not exist. I love that, it’s a whole story in itself. Wonderful writing as always, your capturing of the passing days is perfect.
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Thanks Ste.
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Beautiful post, Andrea. And how nice to see Pam highlighted. I really enjoyed her book, “The Right Wrong Man.”
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Thanks Jennifer, yes her thrillers are great too.
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Lovely. I so look forward to you reading Draca. You are in tune with buried pasts.
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Thanks Geoff, I’m looking forward to it!
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Wonderful and vivid early winter descriptions, Andrea. Winter is a natural time to sleep and rest through the darkness. I hope your dreams offer light….
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Thank you Jet, I hope so too.
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Ah, what is real, and what is dream. I know what it’s like to wander in enchanted dreamscapes and then mourn their loss upon awakening. The treasures of the psyche are endless.
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They are, thank you for visiting my dreams Julie.
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Hello, Andrea. Worlds in-between Worlds, hidden places, they exist, but getting to them requires imagination and understanding, these qualities you surely possess, they are evident in your writing.
Don’t let modern living and lifestyle dampen your curiosity – as it as to so many folks. There are people who, when they must, go outside. They do this reluctantly; they blinker their eyes.
I’m off on one again – another three-page epic. It’s nice to see little Winston, I bet butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.
Keep enjoying your strolls and keep safe.
Bye for now,
Mick.
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Thank you Mick, I think my curiosity only gets bigger!
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Hello, Andrea. Mine too; a two-minute job in the garden always becomes a half-hour poke about.
Enjoy your Sunday.
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Went on a hunt for waxwings today – I’d heard there were some nearby and I’ve never seen one – no luck, but what I think was a young sparrowhawk flew right in front of me!
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Pingback: Catching dreams ~ Andrea Stephenson | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo
Beautifully said, Andrea. I agree that first wintery moment is magical (and I didn’t even like winter!). Although, in my new town, for the first time in over a decade, I’m not in dread of winter weather. 🙂
Throughout my life, on occasion, I’ve had those dreams that are so real that I’m not sure whether they were a dream. I understand. I’ve been dreaming a lot more recently — after a very long stent of not remembering any.
Kudos to Pam. Wishing her huge success.
Hugs on the wing!
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Maybe your new location is helping your dreams! I’m glad that you’re able to go into winter feeling more positive 🙂
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A beautiful post Andrea.
I sometimes feel there is little difference between reality and dreams – Ouspenksy I think, once said ‘Everything is in the mind…’ it’s just a shift in perspective; just as time is nothing – there is no difference between then and now – we can recall memories or dreams in an instant reliving them in the here and now – we live in eternity. And life is but a fantasy landscape informed by so many memories, dreams and imaginings.
The ponds are as real as you imagined them …
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Thanks Clive, true, I do believe that there are many realities taking place all at the same time…
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Hi Andrea, what a delight, as always, to read your posts so evocative and soulful with your search for meaning in the landscape, seasons and also dreams. You take me along with you, meandering through your thoughts and hopes, and yes, fears. I’m only just now returning to blogging so am very behind with blog visits, but I am so glad we are still in touch, my friend.
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Thank you Sherri, and if I don’t ‘see’ you before, have a great Christmas!
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Thanks, Andrea, and a very Happy Christmas to you too! ❤
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I will be thinking of you at yuletide Andrea!! Another beautiful piece from the heart that oozes gold and winter dreams. Blessings of the season.
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Thank you Cybele, and best wishes to you too!
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We finally got some snow here early December, although yesterday it was fifty degrees and today it poured rain, so it’s basically all gone. I love having a white Christmas, so maybe we’ll get some more before then. I’m envious that you’re able to remember your dreams enough to record them. I have trouble remembering mine, but I’ve been trying to be proactive about it, right at bedtime, telling myself “I’ll remember my dreams in the morning”–not quite there yet!
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I’ll never remember all of them and it’s quite frustrating to remember them clearly in the night only to have the memory fade by the time daylight comes!
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This is so beautiful. J.
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Thank you!
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Dreams – sometimes such amazing events, as you write above. And while they do often process the day’s residue, sometimes they bring together people and places and animals that we’ve known or only imagined in the most bizarre of ways. Those I find can be very unsettling. Love the pond with the birds … that is one very big cygnet! Thanks for the fall excursion. 🙂
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It is quite amazing what our brains come up with 🙂 Yes that cygnet’s been doing a lot of growing!
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I loved your poetic description of the final leaves of the season falling, I saw and felt it, you took me there! And, yes, dreams…I hope they’ll reveal themselves not just in your memory of them but also in their many-layered meanings.
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My apologies for the late reply, I just found your comment in my spam folder. Thank you for your kind words!
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Intriguing post, summing up the damp, muddy depth of early winter. And dreams – love that the damp leaves are ‘fodder for the dreams of worms and woodlice,’ their equivalent of wine and cheese maybe. Happy new year Andrea.
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Thanks Roy, and to you.
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Good to catch up with you and hope you have a good break from blogging. I find it difficult to find the time to blog and revise my novel. Too much screen time but your walks are delightful to read and look at the photos.
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